Harker Aquila

A guide to commuting across campus

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






We realize that the walk from Nichols to Shah can be the world’s biggest struggle for Harker students, so here are some ideas to make your commute a little bit easier:

Pendulum catapult

Put the pendulum in Nichols to good use! Channel your inner Miley Cyrus and ride that pendulum. Think back to freshman physics to calculate the exact angle and momentum that you need to launch yourself all the way to Shah. If you require assistance, the physics classrooms are conveniently located nearby, and the nurse’s office isn’t far away either.

Put the pendulum in Nichols to good use by using it to fly across campus. Make sure that you perform all your calculations accurately so that you don’t end up accidentally landing on Saratoga Avenue in the middle of incoming traffic. Cindy Liu

Chariot of squirrels

Now that Homecoming week has ended, repurpose your old class float into a squirrel-drawn chariot to ride around campus. You’ll not only save energy, but also become the coolest kid on the block showing off your new wheels — or rather, paws.

A chariot of squirrels can be a stylish way to travel around campus. Unfortunately, Pokéballs don’t exist in real life, so you’ll have to find your own way to capture it for your chariot. Cindy Liu

One with nature

Okay, so, maybe Hannah Montana’s alter ego isn’t calling out to you today. In that case, the spirit of Tarzan should easily flow through your veins. Clamber up the trees by Main and swing as if you really did grow up alongside Mangani apes (that can somehow speak perfect English). Maybe you’ll even find a Jane! (In which case, you can refer to our article on how to secure a date to Homecoming.)

Survival of the fittest

Are you the size of an energetic young child? Does one of your friends possess a scary resemblance to Hagrid? If so, the back of said friend should work perfectly as your mode of transportation across campus. Simply piggyback onto your half-human, half-giant buddy and mow down the puny, inferior mortals who stand before you. Make sure to find some time while piggybacking on your friend to giggle in the glory of being at the top of the food chain.

 

Hop onto the back of you favorite giant-like friend! Bask in the glory of being at the top of the food chain

Hop onto the back of you favorite giant-sized friend! Bask in the glory of being at the top of the food chain. Cindy Liu

 Golf-cart limo

Admit it, you’ve all stared jealously at those golf carts that security and Athletic Trainer Jaron Olson drive around campus in. You’ve definitely wanted to own a sweet ride like that — and why shouldn’t you? Hire a personal chauffeur for the sole purpose of transporting you to the opposite ends of campus. It’s money well-spent; you’ll not only arrive to class on time, but also get there in the most stylish way possible.

Travel in style with your personal golf-cart limo! A white-gloved chauffeur will be at the ready to suit your every need.

Travel in style with your personal golf-cart limo! A white-gloved chauffeur will be at the ready to suit your every need. Cindy Liu

 

 

1 Comment

One Response to “A guide to commuting across campus”

  1. Kevin Du on April 8th, 2018 4:37 pm

    Wow! What an insightful, useful article!

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




*

Navigate Left
  • A guide to commuting across campus

    Features

    The lament of the rainboots

  • A guide to commuting across campus

    Humor & Satire

    Don’t write me a love song

  • Humor & Satire

    Squirrel PSA

  • Humor & Satire

    Ultimate Pi(e) Day 2015

  • Humor & Satire

    Interpretive dance: a tribute to Left Shark

  • A guide to commuting across campus

    Humor & Satire

    How to beat the Valentine’s Day blues

  • A guide to commuting across campus

    Humor & Satire

    Growing up in Silicon Valley (the real real story)

  • Humor & Satire

    Harker squirrels master hide-and-seek

  • A guide to commuting across campus

    Humor & Satire

    5 tips to survive Black Friday this year

  • A guide to commuting across campus

    Humor & Satire

    4 Halloween candies to throw out

Navigate Right
The student news site of The Harker School.
A guide to commuting across campus