“You can talk to her whenever.” “I could tell her everything about myself.” “I drop my barriers when I’m around her.” When asked to describe Vivian Bi (12), people immediately point out her natural warmth, willingness to listen and immense empathy for those around her. Whether through her art projects, on the volleyball court or just in between classes, showing care for others in tiny but significant ways has grown to become one of Vivian’s habits.

Though she did not think much of it at the time, Vivian recalls frequently doodling in her notebooks as a lower school student. Her interest in art fully blossomed later on when she began taking lessons in middle school, inspired by her older brother. Eventually, Vivian began to view art as not just a hobby but a space to explore her personal strengths through a lifelong pursuit.

“Art taught me that I can be good at things in different ways from other people,” Vivian said. “Art is really subjective, so there isn’t one way to go about it. Once I realized this, I started seriously thinking about art as something I could do for the rest of my life.”

While her exploration of art began with simple pencil sketches, Vivian now focuses on digital art and oil painting, which she has found allow more room for experimentation and mistakes. As the medium of Vivian’s pieces changed over time, so did their meanings. Tyler Beede (12), who met Vivian in kindergarten, noted how her confidence grew as she became more comfortable with using art to convey her feelings.

“When we first met in lower school, she was really quiet,” Tyler said. “Since then, she has really gone out of her shell to become more confident, and she’s able to talk to anyone now. Art was one thing that helped her through that since it gave her a way to share her thoughts.”

Vivian sought to more openly express herself in both her artwork and daily interactions after noticing how much time she spent weighing the opinions of others. Though she started by taking deliberate steps to be more open, she experienced a genuine sense of self assurance as those actions became second nature.

“I was tired of not being confident, so I just told myself over and over to stop caring about what other people think,” Vivian said. “Pretending like I was okay was like practice for the real thing, and as I got used to pretending, I got used to actually feeling that way. When other people started to notice [the change], it encouraged me to keep on believing in myself.”

With a more positive perception of herself, Vivian began to invest more time into reaching out to those around her. Zubin Khera (12), who became close friends with Vivian in junior year, appreciates her eagerness to form new bonds and strengthen existing ones. He cherishes his seventeenth birthday as one of his favorite memories with her. Though Zubin initially felt down about spending his birthday alone, Vivian came to his house on the morning of his special day having organized a surprise celebration.

“Vivian wants to maintain and grow friendships with the people she’s around,” Zubin said. “She’ll constantly check in on you and make sure that you’re okay. I tend to have a problem with not putting in the same amount of energy, but Vivian is definitely the kind of person who will give off a lot of energy to enrich the friendship.”

While Vivian’s confidence in interacting with others grew, she worked to transform her self-perception as a volleyball player as well. Vivian began playing volleyball in fourth grade and grew fond of the tight-knit community fostered by the sport. In sophomore year, she struggled to adapt to new circumstances as teams met virtually due to the pandemic. The strength of the community that she noticed initially as a fourth grader helped Vivian regain her belief in her capabilities once she returned to the courts as a junior. 

“Volleyball taught me that I always have people I can fall back on,” Vivian said. “It made me realize that I’m a lot closer to some people than I thought I was, and I don’t have to carry all of my stress myself. I can rely on other people sometimes.”

Just as Vivian appreciates the safe space that volleyball has given her, her teammates appreciate her open-minded attitude as a listener. Teammate and close friend Jessica Tang (12) described Vivian as someone whom she would feel comfortable sharing anything with.

“Even with things that you’re really ashamed of, you can just tell her about it,” Jessica said. “She knows that everyone has imperfections, and she doesn’t try to change them — she just understands them as part of who you are.”

Accepting other people’s imperfections has also guided Vivian along her own journey in developing self confidence. She remembers watching a Stanford volleyball game where a player she held in high regard missed multiple serves. Recognizing that every player makes mistakes led her to reflect on how she viewed herself. Although Vivian still doubts her abilities from time to time, her increased self esteem has enabled her to take bigger risks and build stronger relationships, on and off the court.

“I can do a lot more now [that I’m more confident],” Vivian said. “I still think about my self image sometimes, but I’m proud of how far I’ve come.”

Varsity girls volleyball coach Theresa “Smitty” Smith, who taught Vivian throughout her time at the upper school, encourages her to continue to stay true to her beliefs and advocate for her needs. Smith has enjoyed watching Vivian’s self perception transform over the past three years and hopes she will continue to grow in this direction.

“Believe in yourself and your ability,” Smitty said. “Ask for help. Continue to let your light shine. Don’t compromise who you are for anyone.”