“I believe in confidence”

Overcoming a fear through a new mindset

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Provided by Claire Su

Ever since I was a child, I lacked confidence. Because of this, I never considered taking risks. However, stepping up to opportunities helps me grow from my mishaps and mistakes, giving me the confidence I need the next time I’m faced with a challenge.

by Claire Su, Reporter

The endless stretch of water comes crashing at me as I feel my heart jump up to my throat. I spot my family fading in the distance and kick my feet, trying to catch up but to no avail. The waves continue infinitely in every direction, the ground barely visible beneath my feet. Helplessness washes over me, and questions run through my head: what if? What if something happens to me, what if I can’t swim fast enough, what if I can’t get back? But, what if I can? The ocean is a frightening place, but even when all hopes seem lost, I believe in confidence.

From playing sports to raising my hand in class, I never had the courage to try something new. Scared as I was, my parents constantly encouraged me to step up and to take chances, especially when it came to one of my biggest fears as a child: the ocean. But even before the ocean, my first hurdle was a pool. 

Enrolled in swimming classes when I was five, I dreaded every Friday afternoon. Being a kid who was scared of showering, swimming was my worst nightmare; it was something new, miles out of my comfort zone. While all of the other kids cannonballed immediately into the deep end, I sat at the opposite end, tentatively taking steps in until the water’s surface reached my waist and refusing to go any further. Class after class, I clutched on to the pool’s edge like my life depended on it, never once getting my face wet. My dad had put up with my irrational fear of trying new things for many years, and this was the last straw. After the next class, he jumped in the deep end of the pool and pushed me in. Caught off guard, I screamed like a maniac, but that experience pared down the wall of fear I had built around myself and gave me the boost of confidence I needed to face my next obstacle.

A pool is safe and enclosed. It is crystal clear and the bottom is in plain view, waiting to catch you. A pool has boundaries. Looking out at the vast stretch of water that was the ocean immediately lowered my confidence to a minimum. There was no end, neither in front nor down below or to either direction. Waves crashed at the shore, threatening to pull me in. The first time I was forced to encounter my fear was during my family’s trip to Hawaii. While snorkeling, my parents and sister unknowingly left me behind in the waves as they were entranced by the sea creatures beneath them. Alone and far behind my family, I froze, unsure of what to do, and unable to move my limbs. I still remember my heart pounding as I looked frantically around, my eyes finally landing on something below me: sea urchins. At the time, I hadn’t known what they were; they simply looked like dark, spiky objects, ready to stab me to death. It suddenly dawned on me that if I didn’t make a move, my situation wouldn’t change. Mustering all of my courage, I swam as fast as I could past the sea urchins, carefully avoiding every one. When I finally made it past them, I saw the true beauty of the ocean: the colorful fish, sea anemone, and crystal clear, turquoise waters. The lack of a boundary morphed from the cause of my fear into a space of infinite possibilities. From that day on, I gained more confidence, and continued to push myself to overcome my fears.

Ever since I was a child, I lacked confidence. Because of this, I never considered taking risks. However, stepping up to opportunities helps me grow from my mishaps and mistakes, giving me the confidence I need the next time I’m faced with a challenge. Whenever I need something to push me that extra step, I think, What’s the worst that could happen? Taking a risk never meant I had to come out of it being the best at whatever I’ve done. All that matters is I gain something from it, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be a new skill. Like the ocean, the world is a beautiful place full of opportunities that can be reached as long as you have confidence in yourself.