A few weeks ago my friend was worrying about whether the guy she liked felt the same way about her.

She was frustrated with his passivity; it was obvious to me that she felt helpless, as if her world would fall apart if he didn’t make a move soon. We all have felt like that before and it really bothered me to see her in that state. I finally resolved to advise her to make the first move.

I am very thankful for Sadie Hawkins; I think it is a great concept. Sadies is a perfect opportunity for the boys to take a back seat and for girls to take the wheel and ask the person of their choice. It is great for us to feel powerful and know that we don’t have to sit around and wait for that boy to come to his senses.

What baffles me, however, is why we need this kind of dance in the first place. Why do we girls feel necessary to have one specific dance where we get the “privilege” of asking the boy?

In this day and age, I think and hope that girls are raised knowing we can accomplish anything and everything if we set our minds to it. I remember when I was in second grade my teacher told me that girls can do anything that boys can do, but better and in high heels.

So, if we are just as smart, just as strong, just as brave, and just as talented as any boy out there, then why can’t we ask a guy out whenever we like? We don’t need Sadie Hawkins. I believe that asking a boy out isn’t a privilege, but a choice.

Of course, it is really flattering to get asked to a dance by a boy. I think boys like having the power to make their girls feel special. One of my friends told me that he believes that on Valentine’s Day it is solely the guy’s job to make the night memorable. He likes planning the whole event, getting her flowers, and just showing her how much he cares.

It’s great that he enjoys making her feel special, but why shouldn’t the girl get to make him feel special too? How is it fair that we ask for equal rights on almost every matter in existence, and then expect the guy to pay the bill and get the flowers?

In my perfect world, both guys and girls will feel free and empowered to make their own moves and take their relationships into their own hands. Both sides will get to understand what it feels like to get rejected or to not get asked at all.

The sad truth about the world we live in is that girls don’t feel like they can ask the guy out. Society has created a status quo in which if a guy doesn’t ask you, you just have to sit quietly and deal with it. You can’t speak out and if you do set your mind to it and fight for what you want, then you open yourself up to negativity and judgement by your peers.

We are ridiculed in those situations because it’s a new concept, and we ourselves aren’t completely comfortable with it. Change is hard, and people who speak out and have new ideas always face strong obstacles. Just because it’s hard and scary to ask a guy out doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. If people never took what they believed in seriously the world would never make any progress.

It does sound silly. How can one Sadie Hawkins Dance be considered such a big deal when there are people who are starving and sad? Let me explain. If girls are raised knowing that they can change the world they eventually will. I think it’s best, however, if we tell girls that they can control their personal lives as well. If we want something, we should fight for it.

I honestly believe that a little dash of confidence added to the recipe that makes us who we are will help us move forward and change the world in other ways as well.