Valentine’s Day. That excessively red and pink heart-filled day of the year which brings angst and worry to almost every high school boy who has a special someone in his life. The pressure to shower girlfriends with creative gifts and do something different can be even greater than the pressure to win the first Homecoming game on Davis Field.

On this “day of love,” girls have exceedingly high expectations of all boys, not only boyfriends, and the best that we can do is to meet them, but more often fall far short of the mark. No matter how hard we try on this day, we seem almost destined to fail.

Often, enough is not enough. And that message is relayed by the girlfriend’s best friend. It seems that our hearts (and wallets) are not big enough on this day. The box of chocolates is not big enough, the flowers are not fresh enough, or the message in the card is not sentimental enough.

However, on Valentine’s Day, some of us even seem to be gullible enough to believe it when our girlfriends say, “I don’t want anything.” What is this double speak, and where can I buy a decoder?

Luckily for us guys, there are no more hours on Valentine’s Day than any other day of the year. When it’s over, girlfriends return to their normal semi-high expectations of us.

My advice to the other guys on Valentine’s Day: Whatever you’re planning to do for your “special someone,” multiply it by ten, and even that may not be enough. Either that or find the decoder. And if you do, please let the rest of us know.