![“[Building nerf blasters] became this outlet of creativity for me that hasn't been matched by anything else. The process [of] making a build complete to your desire is such a painstakingly difficult process, but I've had to learn from [the skills needed from] soldering to proper painting. There's so many different options for everything, if you think about it, it exists. The best part is [that] if it doesn't exist, you can build it yourself," Ishaan Parate said.](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/DSC_8149-900x604.jpg)
![“When I came into high school, I was ready to be a follower. But DECA was a game changer for me. It helped me overcome my fear of public speaking, and it's played such a major role in who I've become today. To be able to successfully lead a chapter of 150 students, an officer team and be one of the upperclassmen I once really admired is something I'm [really] proud of,” Anvitha Tummala ('21) said.](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Screen-Shot-2021-07-25-at-9.50.05-AM-900x594.png)
![“I think getting up in the morning and having a sense of purpose [is exciting]. I think without a certain amount of drive, life is kind of obsolete and mundane, and I think having that every single day is what makes each day unique and kind of makes life exciting,” Neymika Jain (12) said.](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Screen-Shot-2017-06-03-at-4.54.16-PM.png)
![“My slogan is ‘slow feet, don’t eat, and I’m hungry.’ You need to run fast to get where you are–you aren't going to get those championships if you aren't fast,” Angel Cervantes (12) said. “I want to do well in school on my tests and in track and win championships for my team. I live by that, [and] I can do that anywhere: in the classroom or on the field.”](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/DSC5146-900x601.jpg)
![“[Volleyball has] taught me how to fall correctly, and another thing it taught is that you don’t have to be the best at something to be good at it. If you just hit the ball in a smart way, then it still scores points and you’re good at it. You could be a background player and still make a much bigger impact on the team than you would think,” Anya Gert (’20) said.](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/AnnaGert_JinTuan_HoHPhotoEdited-600x900.jpeg)
![“I'm not nearly there yet, but [my confidence has] definitely been getting better since I was pretty shy and timid coming into Harker my freshman year. I know that there's a lot of people that are really confident in what they do, and I really admire them. Everyone's so driven and that has really pushed me to kind of try to find my own place in high school and be more confident,” Alyssa Huang (’20) said.](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/AlyssaHuang_EmilyChen_HoHPhoto-900x749.jpeg)
Leaning on the wall with a camera pressed against my eye, I stared at the performers of HOSCARS, absolutely mesmerized. A twinge of regret found its way into the pit of my stomach: I could be performing right now, if only I had enough nerve.
It’s not that I haven’t performed before. I have performance experience but not in the most conventional way. As someone who has been involved in music for nearly a decade, performing should feel like second nature at this point.
Like almost all people, I fear judgement and am a victim of stage fright. The mere thought of standing up on stage in front of the entire school–all eyes on me–sends shivers down my spine. I simply do not have the guts to subject myself to undivided attention.
With each consecutive act’s passing, my disappointment in myself intensified. Right now, as I am writing this piece, I could literally kick myself for being such a coward.
If I were to perform, what’s the worst thing that could possibly happen? Someone might mock me? I might sing a note off tune? A hurricane could hit and sweep me off the stage, ending my life in the process?
I might not perform at the HOSCARS during my entire time as a student at this school. Nevertheless, my possible performance, or lack thereof, is in my control, as hard as it may be for me to admit.
While it’s perfectly acceptable to be scared, it’s definitely not acceptable to let fear dictate our lives. Fear, especially that of inadequacy, tends to stop us from doing what we truly want to do; fear certainly sabotaged me today. We have to decide that we want to do things more than we are afraid of doing those things. Today, I regret not wanting to perform badly enough to overcome my ever-present fear of being onstage.
Congratulations to all of those who confronted their fears and showcased their talents at HOSCARS today. You were all amazing and incredibly inspiring. I can only hope to acquire half of your confidence by the time next year’s HOSCARS rolls around.
