“Seen at 8:59 pm”: the message that appears on the screen after messaging someone who was once your best friend. Five minutes pass. Then 10 minutes. Fifteen minutes. The conversation has officially ended…again.

As trivial as the deaths of these conversations seem, they signify something greater: no intention to continue the conversation because of a growing lack of interest in what the other person has to say.

Close friends drifting apart is an age-old phenomenon. More often than not, it does not stem from a melodramatic argument about liking the same boy, but rather a mutual implicit understanding that as they have grown as people, they have simply lost the connection that once sparked their inseparable bond.

As someone who transferred schools in freshman year, I’ve experienced first-hand how easily friendships can fade. Though promises such as “We’ll totally catch up on Facebook! :)” are made, the commitment to keep in touch with old friends is often brushed under the table that is now stacked with a more difficult course load, countless extracurriculars, and new acquaintances.

The blame for this gradual disconnection is not pinned on one person or the other, neither is the separation intentional. With the passing of time, you are often left with nothing to say to a person who you used to chat with for hours.

In my case, the friendships I had formed with my peers in middle school were mostly based on things that happened at school–that crazy thing our principal did during the rally, the totally unexpected couple that got together at the Halloween dance, and the sick buzzer shot that won our school the league championships.

When I lost the common link between me and my friends, our conversations slowly became enveloped in increasingly awkward silences. Though we had shared many memories and laughs during middle and elementary school, how many times could I really say “Hey! Remember that time in seventh grade when-” before it started to get ridiculous?

Something as radical as changing schools doesn’t have to be the cause of a deteriorating friendship. Anything as simple as not being in the same history class or not sitting together at lunch can lead to growing apart from some friends and closer to others.

Though the demise of my friendships used to trouble me greatly, I eventually came to a realization. I hadn’t become boring or uninteresting to talk to; something had simply changed. Maybe it was me. Maybe it was them. Maybe we just didn’t have anything in common anymore.

I’ll admit, I could definitely have invested a little more time in preserving my relationships with other people. I think almost everyone who has grown apart from a friend can say the same. When a friendship begins to involve diligent effort and dedication to keep it going, it can often be shrugged off by both parties as “too much work”. This consequently leads them to hang out more with their newer friends.

Whatever the reason, fading friendships are a part of life. For freshmen starting at a new school, it means distancing from middle school friends. For graduating seniors with college right around the corner, some friendships they’ve formed will inevitably weaken.

In the words of C.S. Lewis: “Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different?”

Often times we won’t realize how much things have changed because little milestones of a crumbling friendship are thought to be negligible and don’t hold much importance.

Fading friendships are often times no one’s fault. Take them as a sign that you’ve grown as a person and you’ve entered a new chapter in your life accompanied by new friends.