![“[Building nerf blasters] became this outlet of creativity for me that hasn't been matched by anything else. The process [of] making a build complete to your desire is such a painstakingly difficult process, but I've had to learn from [the skills needed from] soldering to proper painting. There's so many different options for everything, if you think about it, it exists. The best part is [that] if it doesn't exist, you can build it yourself," Ishaan Parate said.](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/DSC_8149-900x604.jpg)
![“When I came into high school, I was ready to be a follower. But DECA was a game changer for me. It helped me overcome my fear of public speaking, and it's played such a major role in who I've become today. To be able to successfully lead a chapter of 150 students, an officer team and be one of the upperclassmen I once really admired is something I'm [really] proud of,” Anvitha Tummala ('21) said.](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Screen-Shot-2021-07-25-at-9.50.05-AM-900x594.png)
![“I think getting up in the morning and having a sense of purpose [is exciting]. I think without a certain amount of drive, life is kind of obsolete and mundane, and I think having that every single day is what makes each day unique and kind of makes life exciting,” Neymika Jain (12) said.](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Screen-Shot-2017-06-03-at-4.54.16-PM.png)
![“My slogan is ‘slow feet, don’t eat, and I’m hungry.’ You need to run fast to get where you are–you aren't going to get those championships if you aren't fast,” Angel Cervantes (12) said. “I want to do well in school on my tests and in track and win championships for my team. I live by that, [and] I can do that anywhere: in the classroom or on the field.”](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/DSC5146-900x601.jpg)
![“[Volleyball has] taught me how to fall correctly, and another thing it taught is that you don’t have to be the best at something to be good at it. If you just hit the ball in a smart way, then it still scores points and you’re good at it. You could be a background player and still make a much bigger impact on the team than you would think,” Anya Gert (’20) said.](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/AnnaGert_JinTuan_HoHPhotoEdited-600x900.jpeg)
![“I'm not nearly there yet, but [my confidence has] definitely been getting better since I was pretty shy and timid coming into Harker my freshman year. I know that there's a lot of people that are really confident in what they do, and I really admire them. Everyone's so driven and that has really pushed me to kind of try to find my own place in high school and be more confident,” Alyssa Huang (’20) said.](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/AlyssaHuang_EmilyChen_HoHPhoto-900x749.jpeg)
Psychology professor David Yeager, interviewed by award-winning psychologist Carol Dweck, gave a talk to parents and staff on the evolving teenage mind as part of the 20th annual Common Ground Speaker event in the Patil Theater on Sept. 19.
Dr. Dweck, who pioneered the concept of the growth mindset, prompted Dr. Yeager, an author and educator at the University of Texas at Austin, throughout the discussion with questions on positive interactions with adolescents.
“[I learned] the importance of being a model, the idea of just helping kids be great — setting high standards and support,” middle school English teacher and parent Rebecca Williams said. “Going back to transparency and allowing kids to understand why we’re doing something, reminding them that they’re capable, reminding them that this is the time to learn, [I will be] making sure that I’m giving them the support to breach the high standard.”
Dr. Yeager emphasized the importance of second chances, and that parents should offer their children a do-over to explain their actions—parents’ forgiveness and openness to listen are what adolescents will remember.
As a parent himself, Dr. Yeager recalled a moment when his daughter was unwilling to accomplish a task he specifically asked her to do, so he angrily ordered her to shut herself in her room.
“Initially, I’d get upset, then I come back and I say, ‘Look, I did not live up to our family values,’” Dr. Yeager said. “‘What I wanted to do was to not yell, not be upset. I’m still going to ask you to do whatever I needed you to do, but I’m more curious about why you couldn’t do it. And I wait for her to actually finish her sentence.”
Dr. Yeager explained that adults usually fall into either the enforcer or protector categories in their treatment of adolescents—enforcers strictly contain teens, while protectors overindulge teens. Instead, Dr. Yeager advocated the mentor role, an adult figure who provides guidance and inspires growth in adolescents instead of focusing on their flaws.
Before and after the event, Common Ground representatives distributed Dr. Yeager’s book, “10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People: A Groundbreaking Approach to Leading the Next Generation―And Making Your Own Life Easier.”
Parent of junior Lucas Chen Jimmy Chen felt the talk solidified his approach to caring for and interacting with his child.
“I would definitely take advice on a lot of the things that he suggested,” Chen said. “But at the same time, most parents seem to realize that every adolescent is different, so you’ve got to take it case by case. There’s a lot of things I take away, but I won’t necessarily change something that I already think is working.”
Parent of second grader Mahi Shah Hiral Khatri wants to apply her learnings to various aspects of her personal life.
“I’m treating teenage kids and autistic kids, so this is going to be helpful for my own child, and of course, in my practice,” Khatri said. “I learned about the growth mindset and how to be slow in understanding when you are dealing with teenagers.”
Dr. Yeager highlighted the value of asking questions, listening to youth and giving them space to grow. According to him, adults should seek to sympathize with the struggles of adolescents and view them as capable individuals in order to properly interact with them.
Director of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Patricia Burrows resonated with Yeager’s advice, as she utilized the growth mindset when she was a teacher and continues to help teenagers persevere through personal struggles as an educator and parent.
“From an adults’ perspective, we forget about the light and growth that happens in this age from 10 to 25,” Burrows said. “We’re human, so we’re going to make mistakes. I’ve been doing some of these things for a long time. But I’m always trying, I’m aware that there’s growth to be had.”
The talk marked the 20th year of partnership with the Common Ground organization as a member school. The organization offers online and in-person speaker events in the San Francisco Bay Area, inviting accomplished figures within the realms of healthcare, parenthood and teaching.
