Humans of Harker: Abha Patkar prioritizes her friendships

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Meena Gudapati

“Life is just a super big combination of bad and good things,” Abha Patkar (12) said. “When I look back on all the things in my life, I freaked out over so much, and there was no point, because it all just… passed. Just recognizing that nothing is permanent is something that’s helped me.”

by Jenna Sadhu, Aquila Broadcast & Multimedia Editor

Few people know about Abha Patkar’s (12) community service accolades—a Red Cross “Youth of the Year” Award and a Fisher House Challenge prize, to name two—because she chooses not to broadcast her accomplishments. Instead, she hopes to be remembered for her genuine personality.

“I want people to remember me as the bubbly one,” Abha said. “I want everyone to know me as outgoing, or as their best friend who they can trust.”

Abha dedicates her time to the Red Cross, facilitating projects that help service members, veterans and family members of the Armed Forces. Community service keeps her grounded.

“Giving back and volunteering makes me feel like I’m not the only one. It puts everything in perspective, like everything is bigger than I am,” Abha said. “Whenever I’m sad or down, I participate in Red Cross events. If I’m going through a hard time, helping other people going through even harder times puts me in perspective.”

Abha puts the same generosity and compassion into her relationships with others. Her best friend, Meena Gudapati (12), thinks that their contrasting personalities define the dynamic of their friendship.

“Abha is so nice and caring. I’m a bit cold and rigid. She helps balance that out,” Meena said. “One day, I opened my porch door and I see a Chipotle burrito bowl and a cup of warm Philz waiting for me, because she knew I wasn’t feeling good that day. She does the small little things that make your day.”

Some might say that Abha and Meena’s demeanors are opposites—yet they seem to work in perfect harmony.

“I’m very logically driven,” Meena said. “The way I process information is very logical. But Abha thinks more emotionally. We always have each other, we are like each other’s second brain. Our decisions almost resonate off of each other. When I’m making a decision, she helps me see the emotional side of it. When she makes decisions, I point out the logic in it. Through all of our challenges, we have each other to balance it out.”

In ten years from now, Meena and Abha hope to live in the same city and remain best friends, while still going on their infamous night drives.

“Being in the car with Meena and having loud music playing and dancing drowns out all my worries. Whatever I’m stressed about goes away,” Abha said. “She always makes me happy, she’s always there when I’m happy and always there when I’m sad. Aside from sleep and Netflix, drives with Meena make me the happiest. In the night. On the highway. Loud music. And Meena.”

In the frenzy of friends and school, Abha finds comfort in the transience of each moment.

“I always tell myself, ‘This shall pass,’” she said. “It helps me act more on my feelings. You know when you feel like you want to do something, but you stop yourself, or you want to tell someone something, but you stop yourself because you overthink so much? You can just remind yourself, ‘Oh yeah, this shall pass.’ Life is going to pass. All these moments will never come again, so you should just act the way you want, live the way you want, do what you want.”

She first heard the adage ‘This shall pass’ in 8th grade from her father. Over the course of her high school experience, she has grown to understand its greater significance.

“Life is just a super big combination of bad and good things,” she said. “When I look back on all the things in my life, I freaked out over so much, and there was no point, because it all just… passed. Just recognizing that nothing is permanent is something that’s helped me.”