My family celebrates the Indian Rakhi festival every year. On this day, I tie a sacred thread on my brother’s wrist, celebrating the eternal emotional bond between a brother and sister, though I follow the ritual primarily to receive gifts from my brother.

Although being a younger sister has its advantages, I have lived in the back seat for 14 years. As the second priority, my parents dragged me, quite literally, to my brother’s activities.

For the last four years, my mom picked me up late from school from school, dance and other activities since high school came first. Undoubtedly, I’ve competed aggressively against my brother to have my presence felt around the house. In fact, my penchant for Chinese food and ice cream grew from my brother’s dislike for those delicacies.

When it dawned on me that my brother was leaving for college, I initially looked forward to his departure. Finally, I would shine in all of the undivided attention from my mom and dad. Finally, the world would revolve around me for a change.

Nevertheless, as I stared at the empty room besides my own and felt the unshed tears in the house as my brother packed his belongings into the car, the silence overwhelmed me. I realized that I would miss so much about him, from the non-stop sibling bantering and teasing to the countless arguments. All my life, my brother held a special place as my mentor and confidant, my role model, and my hero, and I cherished our childhood memories.

As these thoughts whirled through my mind, tears swelled in my eyes as it finally sunk in that he would leave. Technology would allow me to Skype or Facetime him, but he would not live in the room right next to mine, and we would not stay up late at night and talk through the common wall. Even though he reassured me that he would stay in constant touch, I  knew that my brother had a whole new world to explore. I began to feel insecure that he would forget me, and I would soon be replaced by the endless opportunities in college.

As I gave him one last hug before we left the college dorm, my brother whispered, “You’ll always be my favorite sister.” I laughed, contemplating the fact that I am his only sister and sibling. Yes, our relationship would change and change is hard – ironically, it is the only constant in my life – reliable at all times. I had adapted well to other major changes of high school – new friends, a new schedule, new clubs, and new interests, and I would slowly accept my brother’s departure. After all, growing up is inevitable and I cannot be selfish.

My brother has to find his place in the world and I have to come out of his shadow and take the opportunity to be my own person. Nevertheless, I take solace in the fact that by the Indian custom of annually tying a rakhi, he has promised to love me forever.