5 ways to procrastinate on college apps this weekend

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Vivian Isenberg

I am able to vouch for the advice in this article. I spent a good amount of time organizing my sock drawer to a point where I would not be ashamed of my mother seeing it publicly broadcast.

The long weekend is here, bringing with it a slew of unfulfilled promises to yourself that this will be the time you finish your college applications before Monday, a flood of tears when you realize that you have to finish all your college applications on Monday and, of course, hours of staring at the blank Microsoft Word documents of your non-existent college supplements, while your mom questions if you can “send in your apps this weekend”. If you’re reading this article, you’re probably procrastinating on your college applications anyways, so enjoy five additional ways to further procrastinate this weekend.

1.) “Get ahead” on your homework

In the Ironman Triathlon that is the college application process, many seniors actually begin to put off their applications under the false pretense of “getting ahead” on their other homework assignments. Math assignments due in December and cumulative exams in February mysteriously begin to take precedence over college supplements due in six days, as seniors will literally do anything to avoid thinking about what five words describe them, writing a letter to their future roommate and compulsively rechecking the personal information section of the Common Application.

2.) Reorganize your sock drawer

Though your life may be a hot mess, your sock drawer doesn’t have to be! The possibilities for reorganization are virtually endless: Will you color code? Arrange them by texture? By print? Or will you ponder why you are placing knitted footwarmers before your impending undergraduate future? Either way, the organized rows of socks may serve to organize your thoughts about the doom that lies ahead of you.

3.) Experiment with the font of your personal statement

Arial? Bebas Neue? Papyrus? What font speaks to you on a spiritual level? College counselors say that the personal statement is the only true way to showcase your voice to admissions officers, but what about typeface? Times New Roman is ideal for showcasing a bland, but classic personality, while Comic Sans is a “comical” way to say “my life is a joke, and I’m not laughing anymore.”

4.) Learn the lyrics to a complicated rap song

Channel your inner Busta Rhymes from the 2011 Chris Brown hit “Look At Me Now”, and memorize the lyrics to an absurdly complex rap song. The challenge will flex your brain muscles and allow you to live out your unfulfilled dreams of making it big in the rap game. If all else fails, record yourself performing the song and submit it as an “arts” supplement to the college of your choice.

5.) Master the art of folding an origami swan

In addition to skyscraper GPAs, mind-boggling lists of extracurriculars and that science fair award you won in the third grade, you will now be able to add “Origami Sensei” to the activities section of your Common Application, ensuring you will stand out from the crowd. This virtually useless skill can also be utilized in meetings with your college counselors—turn your freshly printed personal statements and college supplements into artistic swans that your college counselor will never forget (and never forgive you for).