Humans of Harker: Intentionality in identity

Aneesha Asthana seeks to understand the human experience

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Alison Yang

“I don’t have it all boiled down to a motto. I don’t really go with the flow. One of my favorite things about myself is how much time I take to consider things. I like being very intentional and thoughtful. I stay focused on what I can control, which is the present and the future,” Aneesha Asthana (12) said.

What defines a person? Some would argue their actions. Others would say their peers. CollegeBoard would say 5 awards and 10 extracurriculars. Is it their path to the present? Aneesha Asthana’s (12) journey is set to a soundtrack of honeyed R&B and alternative pop.

Dubbed Tim after a soccer coach’s nickname grew legs of its own, they are an emerging student of music production. After spending many hours on digital audio workstation Ableton, they were drawn to the intricate and nuanced process of sound design. But what really drew Aneesha in years ago were the stories, not just of faceless characters in a song, but also those of the artist hidden behind them. 

“I listen to around a hundred songs per day,” Aneesha said. “I don’t even know how I managed to fit that much time in. I feel like music is the way that I approach life. It’s the way that I think and the way that I process things, and it’s how I develop my worldview and my opinions.”

Music and its online sphere allowed her to explore the LGBTQ community and the nuances of their own identity, especially when these topics were not taught to them as a middle schooler. During this period, Aneesha leaned heavily into alt-pop, in particular Sam Smith and Troye Sivan. 

“I like to learn everything that I possibly can about the artist’s experience and how it influenced everything that they make,” Aneesha said. “Troye Sivan was a big advocate, an icon for the [LGBTQ+] community. He made a lot of videos about his own thought process, and there was something about seeing your thoughts reflected in what someone else is saying and creating that really helped me.”

To understand what artistic choices were made and why, Aneesha also began tinkering with another side of music: production. As they grew more comfortable with their identity, music production transformed from an emotional guide to a technical puzzle.

“I think Tim feels more comfortable in her own skin,” close friend Lucy Feng (12) said. “It’s a lovely thing, getting to watch one of your friends be happier with themselves. Tim’s confident with how she holds herself. When people do have comments about her, if they’re harmful, they slide off her more easily, and if they’re good, she uses them to improve herself.”

Upper school biology teacher Eric Johnson also observed a surge in Aneesha’s confidence, which manifested itself in an academic setting.

“Aneesha is genuinely, authentically Aneesha,” Johnson said. “There are no ifs, ands or buts around her, and that sort of authenticity is hard to find. Aneesha is someone who feels really confident in who they are, who says, ‘This is who I am, look out world.’ You can’t help but be infected by her humor and joy.”

Or is a person defined by their service?

A key part of Aneesha’s experience as a trans youth was learning to battle stigmas and finding the person hidden underneath them. She works with Rose Academies to provide healthcare education to illiterate and impoverished people in Uganda, aiding other youth in that fight against stigmas. 

“I didn’t grow up in Uganda,” Aneesha said. “I don’t have the same exact experiences. I do have a completely different life, but as a queer person I understand what it’s like to grow up with certain stigmas and how important it is to have a community and to be taught that those stigmas aren’t true.”

Aneesha’s father was born in socialist Zambia, and she recounted stories of his childhood, one characterized by supply shortages and segregation. Despite the adversities, her father’s insatiable hunger for education eventually led him to leave his home country and move to the United States. 

“A main drive for my advocacy is understanding the way that my father experienced his childhood and the way that my life is completely different because of how much he put into building a different life for me,” Aneesha said.

Much like their interest in music, Aneesha’s long standing pursuit of advocacy was born out of an interest in the experiences of others. Literature has also served as a way for them to explore others’ lives, particularly autobiographies.

“Tim is very idealistic, romantic in a sense,” close friend Amrita Pasupathy (12) said. “Seeing the experiences Tim has been through and the mindset Tim has is inspiring, even if she doesn’t know that. The way they perceive the world and the way that they actively try to be better every single day are definitely something that I admire about them and want to learn from them. It’s like a breath of fresh air. It’s nice to see that kind of idealism, that kind of hope resonating in someone.”

Currently, Aneesha serves as the Global Youth Ambassador for Rose Academies, and has also spoken at the United Nations. Their work is centered around creating curricula which will then be taught in Uganda via Rose Fellows as well as providing a youth perspective. They hope to continue this endeavor beyond high school and to one day be able to visit Uganda themself. 

“I can’t help but think about students like Aneesha and what they’re bringing to society,” Johnson said. “That’s a person who’s never going to stop. That’s a person with a fire in their stomach, a passion to help people. I can’t wait to see what she’s doing 10, 15 years from now. Each iteration of Aneesha is only going to be more impactful, only going to be more powerful, only going to be more inspiring.” 

Perhaps people are defined by their influence on others.

To put it simply, Aneesha cultivates comfort. There is a quiet yet constant undercurrent of admiration and appreciation in the words of her friends. Whether it be in animated lunch table debates or bumps in a friendship, she is always open to communication and growth.

“Tim also helps me feel more confident in myself just by being so confident herself and setting that example for her friends and the people around her,” close friend Ada Praun-Petrovic (12) said. “She never hesitates to offer kind words or encouragement to people, helping them feel better and understand how she sees them. I’m really grateful to her for putting the effort [into our friendship]. They’re the epitome of an amazing friend.”

Pinning Aneesha down to one succinct definition is difficult. They are the dedicated student, the unwavering activist, the music lover. They are trips in her mother’s Lexus, memories from the soccer pitch, debates around the lunch table. But above all, she is someone who genuinely cares, who is inexorable in her pursuit of knowledge about herself and others, who is leaving an indelible mark wherever she goes. With their halo of inky ringlets and an easy, steady grin, Aneesha is a person truly in love with unpacking the jigsaw puzzle of humanity. 

“I don’t have it all boiled down to a motto,” Aneesha said. “I don’t really go with the flow. One of my favorite things about myself is how much time I take to consider things. I like being very intentional and thoughtful. I stay focused on what I can control, which is the present and the future.”