You’ll be met by a friendly smile and maybe some jokes at your expense, and you can’t help yourself from laughing too. You can try to categorize Kobe Howard (12) as a gamer or an athlete, a musician or a jokester, but you would be wrong to do so. In reality, Kobe is an individual who lives outside of prescribed notions of what it means to enjoy life.

“He’ll do whatever he wants to do and act however he wants to act, not in an obnoxious way but really in a carefree way,” Kobe’s friend Connie Xu (12) said. “It’s really inspiring to see him do stuff like that because everyone has this construct of social norms. He completely breaks away from that to be who he wants to be. I think that is the most prominent aspect of Kobe living life to the fullest because he never second guesses what he wants to do.”

Connie, having known Kobe since elementary school, notes that even out in public, Kobe is not one to be shy. What might be confused with a ‘you only live once’ kind of attitude is actually his way of expressing himself. In fact, Connie explains, Kobe is more thoughtful than most.

“He is really carefree, but it is not in a careless way,” Connie said. “He’s very mindful of things, and I think one thing I really value is the wisdom he brings into certain situations.”

This way of expressing himself translates over to how he spends his time. One of his favorite activities is playing an online computer game against classmates with whom he does not interact much at school. There, he discovers a new platform to connect with others.

“It’s from the Book of James 1:19: ‘Listen here brother, be slow to speak, slow to anger and quick to hear,’” Kobe said. “I really like that one because it reminds me that I have to let other people speak and listen to what they have to say. I should have the patience to do it, even while playing games.”

One of those classmates is Jack Dawson (12), who believes Kobe has a knack for making friends no matter the medium. Jack, Kobe and a surprisingly large group of Harker students log on to Discord, an online chat channel, when playing video games—in particular League of Legends.

“I really enjoy playing League of Legends, just because it allows me to make new friends and get to know people deeper than just the surface level,” Kobe said. “Playing with them, I can hear their stories and talk about their day. Rather than just saying ‘hi’ to each other in the hall, I can start to understand them as a person.”

Kobe is always ready to try something new and never quick to brag about it. Starting from a young age he played instruments in his church band, and this year, he picked up the trombone and joined the upper school jazz band.

“I’m surprised by how determined and unburdened he is by a new instrument,” Connie, who is also in jazz band, said. “It’s already hard enough learning any new instrument, but the fact that it has to be a trombone, that’s so difficult. Every single class, he approaches it with the greatest mindset, he’s never complained … it’s kind of amazing to see how he approaches things with that kind of mindset.”

Kobe notes that people are always surprised if they discover that he is an active member of chess club or, after seeing him with his trombone case, if they learn that he plays five instruments. Kobe tries his hand in anything that interests him, something easily confused with spontaneity or spur-of-the-moment decision making, but he is by no means flippant about the activities he chooses to do or the people he ends up spending time with.

“I really like adding skill sets to myself,” Kobe says. “When it comes to playing another instrument, I just go for it because you never know, you might be good at it. You can just enjoy it.”

Just as when he seamlessly joined jazz band and found community through online gaming, Kobe has the ability to find community in whatever he does. It may sound simple; Kobe’s true talent is being able to meld into any social setting and keep pace with any conversation.

“It’s kind of amazing because he is one of the few people I know who is friends with completely different types of people,” Connie said. “I think it has to do with his personality. His energy, that part of his personality, is so contagious – it’s something you can’t ignore no matter who you are.”

As a result of his ability to make connections with others, he is able to get to know new people quickly and often, and others are able to get to know him in return.

“I didn’t know him very well before I started playing video games with him,” Jack says. “Obviously I don’t know his deepest darkest secrets, but I feel like because he is so outgoing
I’ve come to know more about him as a person.”

For Kobe, this is always how he has approached new social situations, and it comes naturally.

“I’m pretty comfortable with everyone, people who are friends and even some who are not,” Kobe says. “At least I know who they are and they know who I am, and that’s not a big barrier.”

Kobe’s ability to bring people together and feel comfortable in any new setting can be seen by his numerous interactions throughout the day. Ultimately, his knack for doing so may be be attributed to his caring nature.

“When I think of Kobe, the first thing I think of is how selfless and giving he is,” Connie said. “No matter what you’re doing or what kind of situation you’re in, if you call Kobe, he’ll be there for you, no matter what’s going on with him and what’s going on in his life, he’ll always consider yours [first]. And that’s just how it is for all of his friends.”

Connie detailed a moment of Kobe’s selflessness shining through in an instance earlier this year. When her car broke down after school one evening, Kobe, having just gotten off the field after football practice, dropped everything to make sure she was safe and could get home. She noted that, as a result, he ended up being late to a family function.

“She’s my friend. If she needed me for help, of course I would offer my help,” Kobe said.

It was simple act that emphasized that, whether it be at in jazz band, online or among friends, Kobe always seeks to help and connect with others.