Speaker discusses personal boundaries at school assembly

Ashley Jiang

Dr. Tonja Krautter, a clinical psychologist, spoke at the upper school in two assemblies, one for underclassmen and the other for upperclassmen, about setting personal boundaries in relationships.

by Rashmi Iyer and Adrian Chu

On Friday, Dr. Tonja Krautter, a clinical psychologist, spoke at the upper school in two assemblies, one for underclassmen and the other for upperclassmen, about setting personal boundaries in relationships.

During her presentation, Dr. Krautter discussed with students how they should verbally set boundaries with others and described grey area situations as times when it is more difficult to see if a line is being crossed. Additionally, she showed students videos on how an abusive relationship may start and how boundary lines can be blurred.

“I think [this assembly is] extremely important because kids need to know if a boundary has been breached or crossed, and they need to know who they can talk to and where they can go for some help,” Dr. Krautter said. “If a boundary is being crossed, it is so important to speak up and speak out about it and know what it means to have a boundary be crossed because sometimes there are these grey areas. Consent is super important and no means no.”

The lecture presented many situations involving complex relationships often in moral grey areas and covered topics such as victim-blaming, no means no and the legal ramifications for many of the less known relation. Two YouTube videos, the first depicting a boyfriend pressuring a girlfriend for sex and the second depicting the investigation of a girls basketball coach’s misconduct.

Many of the students felt that the assembly brought important information to light.

“I liked it. I thought it was pretty useful. I think that it is something that definitely needs to be addressed,” Jasmine Wiese (9) said. “I think [students] need to know when something is legal, when something is not legal, and even if they think they know, I think this is good assembly to clarify what’s okay, what’s not okay, to tell us ‘You need to set boundaries,’ and make us aware of what is going on in our personal lives and how we can deal with that and overcome it.”