A notification popped up in the corner of my screen, bringing my attention to five unread messages. I clicked on the jumping icon at the bottom of my desktop and began to read the series of texts from one of my friends: “Hey…I’m just going to tell you. Don’t worry about getting those gifts you want because I’m your Secret Santa.” And in that moment, my only thought was “Why did you have to tell me!”

It’s finally that time of year again: the holidays. Amid the chaos of college applications, preparation for finals and excitement for the upcoming break, the entire community also finds time to celebrate the spirit of the season with Christmas decorations in Manzanita, winter-themed spirit events, and perhaps the most popular and anticipated activity of all, Secret Santa.

Despite the title, the ironic truth of Secret Santa begins to manifest within minutes after drawing names: it is almost never secret. A few hours after the gift exchange begins, most people begin to speculate who their Secret Santa is due to various hints or rumors, and many figure out their Secret Santa within days of the gift exchange beginning.

One year, my Secret Santa had never spoken to me or met me before the gift exchange occurred; I highly doubt she even knew that I existed up till then. On the first day of Secret Santa week, she walked into the room where she had to deliver the present, placed a gift labelled with my name under the Christmas tree, and left. Since she had no idea what my face looked like, she didn’t realize that she had actually placed the present right next to my chair and given herself away within two hours of the Secret Santa exchange beginning. Accidental reveals like this have happened to me several times in my Secret Santa experiences over the years. These blunders are understandable; everyone makes mistakes at times.

Sometimes people discover who their Secret Santa is by hearing it verbally, whether from the person themselves or others. Most people fail at being secretive in the one activity that values keeping secrets so much that it is in the title: Secret Santa. I’m also guilty of not being able to keep the person I’m buying gifts for a secret from my friends, and it’s one of my guilty pleasures to constantly bombard others with questions until they give up the identities of their chosen people out of irritation.

Although I always make a resolution beforehand to keep the person I choose a secret, I am never able to do it like many others. The question remains unanswered: Why are we unable to keep these small secrets?

At times, it may be insecurity over what to buy as a present. Occasionally, I confide in another person at the cost of not keeping a secret because it’s always difficult to determine what present would be most appropriate for someone who is most likely a complete stranger to me. Choosing gifts usually isn’t a major problem for me though. I learned early on in my Secret Santa experience that chocolate is usually the answer to all of my gift-related conundrums.

For other people (including me), keeping a secret just isn’t fun. What’s the fun in being the only one to know something instead of sharing the secret with everyone else and enjoying it together as a group? I always make sure that I don’t ruin the fun for the gift receivers by revealing their Secret Santas to them because I know how disappointing that can be, so I personally consider it okay to disclose Secret Santas to other people with caution. I’ve heard the saying “secrets don’t make friends” throughout my life, and I’m not going to forget it now.

Many don’t share my view on not keeping Secret Santas a complete secret; for them, it’s an act of rebellion against the tradition. But I believe that the drama and lack of secrecy surrounding Secret Santa just adds to the overall enjoyment and what I perceive as “holiday spirit.” Even though I think it would be interesting for me to actually keep my Secret Santa a secret for one year, its probably not going to happen. After all, sharing is caring.