A recent question posed in my English class struck a chord within me: what social graces are we obligated to perform every single day?

I can think of numerous conventionally polite actions I exhibit every day, such as holding the door open for others, telling white lies to avoid hurt feelings, and returning phone calls, none of which are irksome in any way. There comes a point, though, when one realizes just how many actions are premeditated by a set of constructs firmly established by society.

Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest, the play that sparked the question in my English class, is the prime example of social graces being taken too far. Society in Victorian England revolved around hierarchy, social standing, and fighting tooth and nail to improve one’s social status. Though society today is slightly more generous, judgement is still a powerful presence amongst all of us, myself included.

If my mother cooks a vegetable dish I absolutely detest, I try to avoid letting her know my true thoughts simply because it is rude and uncalled for. Does that particular kind of lying make me a bad person? No, it just makes me a conformist.

I am not encouraging anyone to throw manners into the trash in attempt to flamboyantly defy society and its expectations. Social graces and etiquette are absolutely necessary as they distinguish humans from barbaric animals. I am, however, emphasizing the presence of social graces in our daily lives; their presence is not necessarily harmful, but it requires one to be mindful.

People will always be judgemental — to me, that is an irrefutable fact. Society is unforgiving and has always had unrealistically high expectations, whether in the Victorian Era or modern day. Though staying true to oneself is always critical, sometimes, being well-mannered and polite is more important.