What would you do with your life if money were no object?

Success is subjective. Is it a synonym for happiness? Wealth? Prestige? The former is almost unheard of. I’m obviously not an expert, but I find myself periodically having to remind people to take a step back and reevaluate their lives. Granted, my surrogacy isn’t always welcome in a world where we are defined by the money we make.

Picture this: two young, carefree (you would think) sophomores walking back from a nearby 7-11. One is pondering the possible outcomes of his life. What does he want to be when he grows up? Well, let’s see. Listing the various paths he could follow in finance, business, and management, he realizes that the only thing he really wants is to settle down and support his family with enough money to live in luxury.

I ask: “Wouldn’t you rather do what you love?”

And he says: “What if that is what I love?”

I didn’t know how to respond.

Was this the average American dream? We work from elementary school to succeed in middle school to get into a good high school to be accepted into a prestigious university and after that, all we can do is get a stable, well-paying job to raise a family. Don’t get me wrong – there are definitely motives for early retirement, living in extravagance, and providing for your heirs, but is that what we’re supposed to be passionate about? Is it possible to be passionate about that? I had never considered it.

Our world is ranked by wealth, whether it be on a large, worldwide scale or our more intimate, local environment. When I was younger, I was raised on maxims like “bigger and better” and Shakespeare’s “some are born great”, repeated to me ad nauseum. Ready to beat out everyone for the position of world’s greatest, my childhood was littered with dreams of becoming a lawyer and living in a palatial pink mansion. Only by the time I was a preteen did I actually start to realize the growing discomfort I had with the decisions I was making – that the real proverbs I should have been adhering to were “money isn’t everything” and “the best things in life are free”.

As cloying and overdone as it is, I was overcompensating for being on the other end of the spectrum: the ‘DANGER! DO NOT CROSS’ area on the scale of how much importance to place on your income. When someone stops caring about what job they have and only focuses on how much they’ll make, it seems to me that they have a much higher risk of becoming apathetic about life in general. Digging through the archives of my mind, I’ve been perpetually haunted that one day, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night in college and realize I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. That, or worse: I don’t like what I’m doing with my life.

By the time I fully understood my fears, it was already too late – once you’re on the track to the Silicon Valley definition of ‘success’, there’s no turning back.

So many students I know shy away from their dreams because they’re scared of making them a reality. It’s taboo to speak of any profession outside the conventional doctor-lawyer-CEO framework at the dinner table, and enjoyable pastimes are set aside from an early age as strictly hobbies. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a doctor, lawyer, or CEO – the only caution I have is to evaluate whether being one is a desire or a necessity. That your choice will be a cause of long-lasting happiness and fulfillment, or that the end result (riches, splendor, and so much more!) is your absolute desired end goal in life. Just because I don’t understand it doesn’t mean it’s not valid. That being said, don’t let yourself get stuck in the prototypical high-pressure blending machine, churning out perfect shiny replicas with the same ambitions. In the words of the band Say Anything, don’t become a “slave to the competitive capitalist dogma” because you may very well find yourself “spend[ing] every moment of your waking life bitching about” unfulfilled desires. And if that is your desire, make sure that the only thing you’re serving is yourself.

My idea of following your dreams might seem naïve and idealistic, but there are a lot of people that manage to get by. The only thing that really matters is what your priorities are. Hey, if Max Bemis of Say Anything is doing just fine with his car and his guitar, I’m sure I can do what I want and still make ends meet.