I sat down at the table with a bowl of Caesar salad in my hand.

“You know that has anchovy sauce, right?” my sister asked.

“Whatever, I like it, and it’s relatively healthy,” I replied. “I’m eating it.”

While eating lunch with my family over winter break, I began to question my vegetarianism. For 17 years, I have resisted meat’s temptations, but that moment caused me to reconsider why I do so.

My parents raised me vegetarian, and I didn’t begin to question why I avoided meat until a few years ago – it had always been just an assumed norm of my life, an inescapable facet of my persona. They explained the moral justifications and perceived health benefits of vegetarianism, facts that I once accepted without thinking. As I establish my own personal beliefs on these claims, I have progressed to doubt the legitimacy of my diet.

I don’t intend to offend anybody who adheres to views similar to those of my parents, but I have begun to doubt the validity in these claims; I am entitled to my own beliefs about vegetarianism, and my faith in its benefits has begun to crumble.

Over the years, I have gradually begun to rebel more against my vegetarian heritage, starting with eating gelatin-filled products like marshmallows and gummy bears and progressing to consuming eggs on a regular basis. My newfound attempts to become healthier often clash with my inability to eat meat: fulfilling the protein requirements of a fit lifestyle proves difficult in a vegetarian diet, as I’ve had to try to find more divergent, and often worse-tasting, “healthy” foods.

I sometimes meet people relatively unacquainted with Indian culture, and after I talk to them about my ethnic background, they will rave about how much they enjoy eating Indian food.  Whether they can’t get enough butter chicken or would die for some chicken tikka masala, almost all of the dishes that they list include meat. Many cuisines, such as Chinese and traditional Mexican, heavily incorporate meat in their dishes, so if I don’t have a chance to experience so much food of my own culture, I can’t imagine what I’m missing out on from every other word culture.

I remain skeptical that whichever college I attend next year will offer food that tastes better or is much healthier than Harker’s, so I feel that I must stay prepared to start eating meat, a significant lifestyle change for me. Whether out of necessity or simply a desire to experience more of the world, I will stay ready to make that shift.

This piece was originally published in the pages of the Winged Post on Jan. 27, 2014.