Margaret Cartee

“I heard that life is not about finding out who you are, it’s about creating yourself. That’s really inspirational because I’ve been trying to figure out who I am. I was too easily influenced by everyone else, and I did a lot of things for other people. But this quote reminds me that ‘myself’ is not someone that I have to keep looking for. It’s someone that I can create. So when I do things for myself, I’m creating myself,” Carol Song (12) said.

As calloused fingers press down on the guitar strings, the melody of a Shawn Mendes song floats through the air and creates a refuge of serenity. Immersed in her own world, Carol Song (12) sings along to the song, carefully eyeing the chords on her screen to keep on beat. She plays the last chord and starts again, fine-tuning the different nuances to the piece and adding a layer of depth of her own. Outside, the world moves at its own pace, but Carol stays grounded in her music, content in the progression of each note giving way to the next. 

Carol taught herself how to play the guitar over quarantine through YouTube videos. When younger, her father owned a guitar that she played, but she wanted to play one of her own. Once she learned the basic chords, she began learning different songs through the sheet music she could find online. With her background in the ukulele, she found the transition to the guitar to be smooth. 

“You can find music for any occasion and it just makes everything better,” Carol said. “There’s always some music that fits the vibe. I think guitar actually came pretty naturally to me because I love it so much. I’d pick up a guitar and hours would just pass and I wouldn’t even realize it because I was just like figuring out new tunes or learning a new song. It’s just really fun and relaxing. You know you’re passionate about something when you start doing it and time flies”

Music surrounds Carol’s life and while she loves to play acoustic music on the guitar, she also enjoys playing classical and romantic pieces on the piano. One of her favorite composers, Debussy, known for his colorful music and capability of emotional storytelling, inspires her to find that in for herself in pieces she plays. Carol especially loves expressive music, where the different interpretations of the piece’s dynamics convey deep emotion and passion. 

“I just listen to music doing everything,” Carol said. “I love how multifaceted music is. You can find music for any occasion and it always just makes everything better. It brings so much more to the environment whether you’re like studying or you’re just in the car driving around. There’s always some music that fits the vibe. I feel a lot of emotions and music helps me make sense of my own emotions.”

In addition to music, Carol dedicates herself to pursuing activities that align with her goals of self-fulfillment such as painting and cake decoration. In painting, she especially enjoys playing around with different colors and having fun with making art. Her favorite painting thus far was inspired by Bob Ross.

“These activities offer me peace and a sense of purpose when I do them,” Carol said. “I don’t do them in front of an audience or anything. I just do them for myself. It’s personally fulfilling and almost satisfying in a way. These are also  things that I do to ground myself when I’m feeling stressed and when I need a break from everything. Also, I just really love doing all of these things.”

Whether she is playing new chords or decorating a cake for the first time, she resolves herself to living in the moment and committing herself to passing time with happiness and satisfaction. Metrica Shi (12), close friend of Carol’s since fifth grade, recalls the many conversations that they have about something new in Carol’s life. 

“She always has something new going on in her life that she’ll bring up and it’ll be really fun to talk about,” Metrica said. “I remember one time,  in the middle of the summer, she told me she picked up an injured baby squirrel at the park. She was just raising the squirrel so I went to her house and she had a whole habitat set up for a tiny baby squirrel. Something interesting always happens with her.”

Carol seeks fulfillment with her connections to the people around her. She believes that meaningful connections are critical to leading a fulfilling life, and she ensures quality time with her friends. Ashley Hong (12) met Carol through a mutual friend and discovered more about Carol’s natural charisma and approachability. 

“She’s really fun to talk to and always super willing to help you out with things,” Ashley said. “For example, we both take Spanish and sometimes, if I have questions, I can ask her. I know she loves to help people. She’s also really fun to hang out with because she’s a little bit crazy sometimes and it’s fun.”

Carol’s earnest and positive personality flows from her connections with her friends to her academics. Sam Lepler, upper school business and entrepreneurship teacher, appreciates her eagerness to participate in his Game Theory class. 

“My impression of her has very much evolved,” Lepler said. “She is very fun, very sharp, very smart, and very well involved. She participates really well and she’s not afraid to ask questions if she’s confused about something. She’s got a great sense of humor. She always brings this kind of fun, positive energy. It’s such a small class that I actually have this semester with her that her energy and her humor really brings it to life so I very much appreciate her.”

The notes in Carol’s life weave together her different passions to form a harmony in her life that she thrives in. As long as she leads a life of happiness, Carol feels comfortable to ignore what others think and focus on what she wants and what makes her life meaningful. 

“I heard that life is not about finding out who you are, it’s about creating yourself,” Carol said. “That’s really inspirational because I’ve been trying to figure out who I am. I was too easily influenced by everyone else, and I did a lot of things for other people. But this quote reminds me that ‘myself’ is not someone that I have to keep looking for. It’s someone that I can create. So when I do things for myself, I’m creating myself.”