“Woah!” someone shouts from the seats, as the blinding lights dim and the final notes of Whitney Houston’s classic ballad “I Will Always Love You” ring throughout the theater. On stage, a radiant smile lights up Eileen Ma’s (12) face as she strikes her final pose, marking the end of the 2020 upper school dance production. Fast forward three years, and Eileen now stands in the wings, directing her own group of dancers from backstage.

Eileen started dancing at 4 years old, following in the footsteps of her cousin, whom she grew up with. Having spent countless hours honing her craft in the studio, Eileen continues to dance competitively outside of school and has begun choreographing dances for the annual upper school dance production. 

But her journey with dance hasn’t been without challenges. In fifth grade, Eileen made the difficult decision to step away from dance after a series of injuries and loss of interest in the sport. It took a few years for Eileen to begin dipping her toes back into the world of dance again.

“Throughout the next few years, I had to rediscover my passion for dance and why I loved it,” Eileen said. “It wasn’t necessarily a very straightforward path. I had to experiment with different styles and different places and find a community and a place where I felt most comfortable.”

Eventually, after joining the Harker dance community, Eileen found herself surrounded by supportive peers who helped her reconnect with her love for dance.

“To me, dance is an art form,” Eileen said. “It’s been an important outlet for me to express my emotions or how I’m feeling using my body. It’s unique because you’re using yourself as a medium to express what you’re feeling, and I think that’s something that’s super special and really organic.”

Eileen now dedicates around seven hours a week to outside dance and many more to choreographing for her dances in Harker’s production. This year, Eileen choreographed a contemporary dance routine to the song “Peer Pressure.”

Through numerous performances and classes during her high school years, Eileen’s technique flourished and strengthened. Joining a new dance studio taught her to experiment with different styles of dance and step out of her comfort zone, a skill that she has since applied to other aspects of her life as well.

“My journey through dance has helped me build confidence in myself,” Eileen said. “I went through a period of time where I struggled with my self-image involving dance. I did ballet for a while, and that culture was pretty hard for me to get through. Leaving that and going to a new studio led me to find confidence in myself as a dancer and also helped me build confidence in myself as a person.”

Close friend Sabrina Zhu (12), who has known Eileen since kindergarten, noted this development in Eileen’s character. Through choreographing for the dance show, Eileen learned to be brave and have faith in her skills as a dancer and a teacher, in front of a room full of her peers.

“I remember seeing her last year when she was choreographing for the first time, and she was very nervous about everything,” Sabrina said. “But this year, she’s way more confident to test out her ideas and be more creative with it.” 

The shift in Eileen’s attitude affected not only dance but also her broader curiosity and desire to learn. Close friend Lavanya Subramanian (12) has witnessed Eileen grow more independent and outgoing throughout the years as she ventures beyond what’s expected and required of her as a student. 

“She’s constantly pursuing knowledge, trying to improve herself and learn more outside of the classroom,” Lavanya said. “She’s doing things that are bettering herself and learning things that she’s really excited about. Seeing her grow into herself, learning what she’s interested in and really pursuing that without the guidance of anyone else is something that I really admire.”

Developing confidence in herself opened up a multitude of new paths for Eileen. Whether that meant being more open with her friends or joining the upper school speech and debate team, she pushed herself to overcome her fears and explore new fields with curiosity and courage. 

Eileen began speech in ninth grade, following a summer program her parents had enrolled her in. At first, public speaking intimidated Eileen, but the camp turned out to be a transformative experience for her, allowing her to discover the value of speech. 

“In some ways, dance and speech and debate were very similar journeys for me,” Eileen said. “Coming into speech, I was also a little bit shy and nervous about public speaking, but throughout the years, I’ve definitely become more confident in speaking and finding my own voice and just being comfortable expressing myself in front of everyone.”

Upper school speech and debate teacher Scott Odekirk first met Eileen when she was in ninth grade through his intermediate speech class. Over the next few years, Odekirk watched Eileen overcome the obstacles of peer pressure and competition and emerge as a more resilient individual, both in and out of the classroom.

Initially, Eileen grappled with uncertainty over how to convey her message during speech tournaments. However, Odekirk taught her a valuable technique of free writing that empowered Eileen to communicate her ideas effectively.

“There was a turning point a couple years ago,” Odekirk said. “She just started to realize that her goal here was not about seeing if she could accomplish or take on what everybody else was taking on. Her goal here was to be true to herself and to find ways to have happiness in the process.”

Over the years, dance and speech and debate allowed Eileen to discover what truly matters to her, while providing her with the power and confidence to express her ideas. Despite earning numerous accolades in speech and exploring other fields of interest, her love for dance has never diminished. In fact, after a stressful day, she returns to dance, letting herself momentarily forget about her other burdens.

“For me, I’ve always thought of dance as a way to let go of all the outside [burdens],” Eileen said. “When I step into the studio, I leave behind everything that’s happening in school. If I have a test or something, I no longer worry about it. I just focus on what I’m doing in class.”