The aroma of a fresh-pressed Norwegian waffle drizzled with strawberry jam and brunost wafting past the entrance of a popular London café. A drive through Silver Creek at dusk with the windows down, Halsey’s “Bad at Love” blaring through the car’s speakers. The last few breaths of a summer sunset that tint the world golden for a few moments before fading into dark. These moments and many others, scribbled down on multicolored slips of paper, are what fill Nilisha Baid (12)’s positivity jar.

Nilisha began filling this jar at the start of 2019, in January of her sophomore year. Daily, she takes time to reflect on the day’s occurrences, select a moment and write it down to add to her jar, which she opens at each year’s end.

“[Before I started], there were a lot of days that [didn’t] exist in my memory. I just did things, which I don’t have a problem with, to an extent. [But] at the same time, [I tended to] remember the bad and forget the good,” Nilisha said. “I wanted to change that, [which] became the purpose of the jar, in a way: finding something good to happen every day. One thing, [it] doesn’t matter how big, how small. I don’t [always] need to write it down, I just need to think about it.”

This optimism adds dimension to Nilisha’s experiences with her friends, something that Suman Mohanty (12) has noticed in her eight years of friendship with her. Suman has observed that Nilisha not only focuses on the good in her life but also the good she can create in others’ lives.

“[Nilisha] takes everything positively. Even if something’s hard, she’ll get through it without being sad,” Suman said. “With the time she spends with [us], she does amazing things. [On] her sixteenth birthday, she [had us build kits to] help refugees. [Even then], she wanted to celebrate and help other people out.”

Although focused self-reflection can call attention to negative memories, Nilisha intentionally looks for the positive aspects in each of her moments.

“[Sometimes], it’s kind of sad because there’s notes [about] people who I don’t talk to by the end of the year,” she said. “But the point of it isn’t to be sad; the point is to remember how happy I was, even if things didn’t always work out.”

This jar has helped Nilisha actively take control of her life, something she’s also done through driving. Since getting her driver’s license at the end of her sophomore year, driving has become a pastime for Nilisha that gives her time to breathe.

“[When I first started driving], I resented it. Eventually, I realized [that] it wasn’t just a waste of time,” she said. “For me, there was always this need to be doing something with my time. But [when I’m driving], I get to just exist without [any] expectations. It’s a really nice way to escape everything.”

Nilisha’s tendency toward self-awareness, whether it’s by intentionally refocusing her own perspectives or giving herself an opportunity to relax through driving, is one that upper school computer science teacher Anu Datar has noticed in teaching Nilisha.

“She’s the kind of student who’s self-motivated [and will] do things on her own. She puts time into honing her skills, [and] she also takes in additional effort to seek out more and gain more knowledge,” Datar said. “One of the core strengths of Nilisha is acknowledging [when] she occasionally needs help. She never ever pretends like she has everything under control; if she feels that something is not clear, she’ll reach out for help.”

The way that driving allows Nilisha to give herself space to think and relax is something she replicated on a larger scale this past summer, when she spent a month living in an apartment in London.

“I had no obligations, [which made] it so freeing. I did things because I could,” she said. “Knowing I could fly to another country by myself made it different.”

Nilisha’s appreciation of her ability to make her own decisions is a characteristic that her closest friends have picked up on.

“My first impression of Nilisha was that she was very unapologetic about who she was. It was really refreshing to see that, and it’s something that she’s kept with her in high school,” Vaishnavi Murari (12) said. “She does what she wants to do; she’ll just be herself.”

Part of the reason that Nilisha’s experience in London was so important to her is that it gave her an opportunity to reflect on herself.

“In London, separated from everybody I [know], I had [this] detachment which made me stop and think about who I wanted to be. [Since the trip], I’ve let that keep going and define what I do,” Nilisha said. “Everything I do is a choice; it’s about the person that I want to be.”