As I’m sitting at my lunch table, someone makes a comment that I don’t quite agree with, and I hesitate. Should I say something? Should I offer my perspective or respectfully question the person? By the time I’m done analyzing the potential ramifications, the conversation has moved on, and I stay quiet. 

As I consider, with a drop of regret, my decision to bite my tongue and keep my opinions to myself, I reflect on the culture decisions like mine breed. Are other people also hesitant to voice their perspectives?And what would happen if respectful, nuanced debates were more normalized?

I realize that people’s refusal to engage with anyone who disagrees with them exacerbates ever-present echo chambers. By avoiding, attacking or ridiculing those who disagree with them, people close themselves off from hearing new perspectives. 

While discussions and debates form an integral part of classes like history and English, they are starkly lacking within the broader school ecosystem. As members of the community, we can all choose to bring the values of respect, curiosity, passion and conviction from the classroom into our daily lives. 

The respectful, interesting dialogues I’ve experienced have all become very meaningful interactions. One time last year, while we were waiting for class meeting to start, a classmate turned to me and said, “I was scrolling on Instagram and saw a reel you liked, and I was just wondering: are you pro-choice or pro-life?” I froze. Was I really about to get into an abortion debate sitting in the middle of Patil theater? Should I try to avoid the question or brush it off? 

After a second of consideration, I decided to be upfront about my opinion. She was respectful and asked some follow up questions. What I was worried would turn into an awkward or charged interaction became a pleasant and civil conversations. Experiences like this remind me to move past my fear of being judged for my opinions, since good things often come out of honesty and vulnerability. 

Many, however, do not reciprocate that openness or desire for understanding. I’ve experienced classmates avoiding me or refusing to talk to me due to disagreements between us. I’ve received angry, provocative direct messages on Instagram in response to stories sharing my thoughts or my reposting of controversial topics. I’ve found out about people talking badly behind my back, misrepresenting my views or ascribing views I do not hold to me. 

The more people are ostracized for their views the less likely others are to share theirs. This leads to those with unpopular views being effectively silenced while those with majority views believe that everyone agrees with them. 

Of course, there is a major difference between sincere arguments and hateful or unfactual rhetoric. Not everyone voices their opinions in good faith, but for those who do, we owe them the same consideration in return. 

If we all share our opinions openly and are willing to find nuance and common ground, we can build a stronger community. We should approach conversations with curiosity and respect, not a desire to prove someone wrong or change their opinion. Someone disagreeing with you is not a threat, it is an opportunity to expand your worldview and refine your own position. 

While intimidating at first, building the confidence to be authentic with your opinions, even when others may not agree, is crucial to building a more inclusive community. Collectively, we should prioritize thoughtful, productive conversations and encourage people to voice their opinions.