For music snobs

May 24, 2015

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Vinyl is clearly the best medium with which to consume music. Whoever thought updated technology and convenience were legitimate selling points is clearly a musical plebeian.

For music snobs: You have a lot of options. As your culturally elitist taste in music proves, you’re a complicated, intelligent, sensitive soul and march to the beat of your own drum. Therefore, you should have very high standards. If any prospective partners don’t share your love for post-modern indie punk rock or understand that the strangled twangs of the electric guitars represent the strangled angst of your soul, drop them faster than you’d drop a beat. If reputable sources like “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” and “High Fidelity” have taught me anything, it’s that diverging musical tastes are really just symptoms of deeply rooted, insurmountable incompatibility.

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