For the mainstream

For the mainstream: Do you listen exclusively to the top 40? Do you worship Beyonce? but aren’t quite sure why? Years of film study has taught me that if a large group of people come to a consensus that something is good, IT MUST BE TERRIBLE. Don’t worry; it might not be too late. Burn your UGGs, go on a three-day retreat to detox all traces of Starbucks from your system, and start 24-hour vinyl therapy. You’ll never make a full recovery, but if you’re lucky enough to capture the heart of someone with far superior music taste, just remember to defer to their judgement. Treasure each one of those hand-painted mixtapes. For everyone else: Maybe you just don’t feel that strongly about music. Maybe you listen to podcasts and “Fresh Air with Terry Gross.” Love is impossible for you. Resign yourself to a life of friendly isolation.