Sex education for teens

Relationships, sex and consent aren’t typically parts of conversations at Harker, but for an hour last Friday, the juniors gathered in the auditorium to explore these taboo topics in a presentation run by Upper school mathematics teacher, Jane Keller.

“I talk to kids a lot about their relationships. As a matter of fact, yesterday, there was a little girl who wants to break up with her boyfriend, and we spent probably 30 minutes practicing how to communicate that,” she said. “I don’t get embarrassed.”

The assembly included two videos, one which compares sex to eating pizza and another that compares consent to offering a person tea. Humorous in nature, the videos discussed hard-hitting questions about relationships not usually openly discussed with adolescents .

“I think [the assembly] was necessary because, especially in my family, my parents never discuss sex with me, or I’m too embarrassed to ask my parents about these things.” Maya Rai (11) said. “It was good to have this and learn about the importance of consent.”

Planned Parenthood, a healthcare provider organization that also specializes in reproductive healthcare, offers a vast array of sexual education classes for high schoolers. Schools or community organizations can request one of Planned Parenthood’s trained health educators to give a presentation, which can include either a single topic or a series of sessions covering multiple topics.

Laurice Rubalcava, the education program manager at Planned Parenthood, oversees all the education services at Planned Parenthood.

“[Teenagers] are usually very open to discussing real-life scenarios or pressures that they might have found themselves, or friends, in,” she said. “They are very receptive to practicing boundaries, boundary setting, I think it’s a topic that very much interests them because whereas, maybe they are not having a sexual relationship, they still might be having a romantic relationship and they would like to be able to negotiate that better using those skills.”

Planned Parenthood offers a class specifically on consent. One class covers what minors can consent to medically, and another focuses on healthy relationships, whether it be a sexual relationship or a solely romantic relationship.

Some of the most common characteristics of a healthy relationship that are mentioned by students taking the course are trust, respected boundaries, honesty and communication.
Effective communication skills in relationships can lead to successful discussions on sexual history, STD tests, dynamics of the relationship and contraceptive use. Interwoven with presentations about communication in relationships are conversations about contraception for teenagers.

Most teenagers lean towards using condoms or oral birth control pills due to their common depiction in popular media, but Planned Parenthood also introduces teenagers to other long-lasting non-permanent birth control methods such as Depo-Provera and IUDs.

Laurice Rubalcava, the education program manager at Planned Parenthood, oversees all the education services at Planned Parenthood.

“[Teenagers] are usually very open to discussing real-life scenarios or pressures that they might have found themselves, or friends, in,” she said. “They are very receptive to practicing boundaries, boundary setting, I think it’s a topic that very much interests them because whereas, maybe they are not having a sexual relationship, they still might be having a romantic relationship and they would like to be able to negotiate that better using those skills.”

Planned Parenthood advocates that communication with a partner about sex should begin in a calm and connected manner outside of a sexual encounter.

“To try and find a way to bring it up, maybe they can use a teachable moment. Or say ‘hey, they heard from a friend that this happened to them, what do you think about that?’” Rubalcava said. “They can then bring up the discussion of what they’re comfortable with, what they’re not comfortable with, when do they want children if they want children, what are they gonna do to prevent that, making sure they’re on the same page.”

Teachable moments could also be used to breach the subject with parents. Presentations on sex at school, and thoughts about the presentation are common ways to open a channel of discussion with parents about relationships.

This piece was originally published in the pages of the Winged Post on Jan. 27, 2016