The ups and downs of being raised by a single mother
Mother knows best: Mother-daughter relationships last a lifetime.
For the past 16 years of my life, there is only one person who has never left my side—my mother. Although she may not have had much of a choice, she deserves commendation for enduring years of my wrath, mood swings, and sass without throwing me out of the house. If that isn’t devotion, I don’t know what is.
The truth is, even though I drive my mom crazy on a daily basis, I really do admire her strength and unfaltering dedication to me, her favorite child (at least that’s what I’d like to think). After spending the last decade and half with my mom, I am just beginning to understand the hardships that she has endured raising me as a single mother.
Since my father passed away when I was young, my mother has worked tirelessly to ensure that my older sister and I, mere children, do not feel his absence.
A few months after his death, our home became increasingly lonely. My sister and I felt lost and confused, unable to understand the tragedy that had just occurred. Though times were hardest on my mom, she threw me and my sister a joint birthday party in hopes that we could still have the same privileges as other children.
Though nothing can make up for the lingering agony forever suspended in our home, I would say my mother has done more than any other parent out there. I often feel as though I have not one parent, but five or six.
At age 11, I threw a tantrum after my mother told me that she could not take me to a friend’s party because she was already taking my sister elsewhere that day. My fury and desperation did nothing to change my mom’s mind. I never quite understood that she was only one person who could not juggle so many different things at once. She wasn’t prioritizing my sister like I thought, but rather just couldn’t please both her children at once.
In fact, most of my mom’s life still consists of similar situations—my sister and I battling over who receives the most attention. Whereas most kids can turn to another parent in times of need, we have just one mother who has to please the both of us.
Having one parent isn’t too terrible, though. Since my sister and I always turn to our mother for advice and comfort, my mom seems to have an omniscient role in our house, never without an answer to our problems.
My mom and I once began bickering on the drive home from school about my “lack of responsibility.” After our bitter dispute, she claimed she would not talk to me for the rest of the week. Yet, in a matter of minutes, we began laughing once again. Even though our opinions frequently clash, I have always believed that the more you love, the more you fight.
Unlike most kids, I don’t return from school to two parents, siblings, and other family, but rather one woman who is all of the above. Despite our daily disputes and silly disagreements, my last three words to my mother every night are “I love you.”
My mom can be stubborn and hard to deal with 99 percent of the time, but she is, after all, the only parent I have ever really had. Although I never tell her out loud how much I appreciate all that she’s done for me, I have no doubt that she knows she’s the reason I’ve come so far today. Shoutout to my mother for single-handedly putting up with all of my…well, you can fill in the rest.
This piece was originally published in the pages of The Winged Post on March 12, 2014

Mariam Sulakian is the Features Editor of Harker Aquila. She has been a member of the journalism program for four years and appreciates the opportunities...

















![“[Building nerf blasters] became this outlet of creativity for me that hasn't been matched by anything else. The process [of] making a build complete to your desire is such a painstakingly difficult process, but I've had to learn from [the skills needed from] soldering to proper painting. There's so many different options for everything, if you think about it, it exists. The best part is [that] if it doesn't exist, you can build it yourself," Ishaan Parate said.](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/DSC_8149-900x604.jpg)




![“When I came into high school, I was ready to be a follower. But DECA was a game changer for me. It helped me overcome my fear of public speaking, and it's played such a major role in who I've become today. To be able to successfully lead a chapter of 150 students, an officer team and be one of the upperclassmen I once really admired is something I'm [really] proud of,” Anvitha Tummala ('21) said.](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Screen-Shot-2021-07-25-at-9.50.05-AM-900x594.png)







![“I think getting up in the morning and having a sense of purpose [is exciting]. I think without a certain amount of drive, life is kind of obsolete and mundane, and I think having that every single day is what makes each day unique and kind of makes life exciting,” Neymika Jain (12) said.](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Screen-Shot-2017-06-03-at-4.54.16-PM.png)








![“My slogan is ‘slow feet, don’t eat, and I’m hungry.’ You need to run fast to get where you are–you aren't going to get those championships if you aren't fast,” Angel Cervantes (12) said. “I want to do well in school on my tests and in track and win championships for my team. I live by that, [and] I can do that anywhere: in the classroom or on the field.”](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/DSC5146-900x601.jpg)
![“[Volleyball has] taught me how to fall correctly, and another thing it taught is that you don’t have to be the best at something to be good at it. If you just hit the ball in a smart way, then it still scores points and you’re good at it. You could be a background player and still make a much bigger impact on the team than you would think,” Anya Gert (’20) said.](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/AnnaGert_JinTuan_HoHPhotoEdited-600x900.jpeg)

![“I'm not nearly there yet, but [my confidence has] definitely been getting better since I was pretty shy and timid coming into Harker my freshman year. I know that there's a lot of people that are really confident in what they do, and I really admire them. Everyone's so driven and that has really pushed me to kind of try to find my own place in high school and be more confident,” Alyssa Huang (’20) said.](https://harkeraquila.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/AlyssaHuang_EmilyChen_HoHPhoto-900x749.jpeg)


